Blowing Goats

Being British wooing Americans isn’t something that comes intrinsically easy to me. Mary McCarthy, the bloggess of Pajamas and Coffee is one of my favourite bloggers – she tells it how it is and is funny to boot. I wanted her to review my book because she inspired 2 chapters in it and because I want to know if our American cousins would like it. Especially as I don’t like guns, or war, and some folk just don’t get it. This is how I snared her pert little American bottom.

  • Conversation started Thursday
  • AModern Militarymother

    Dear Mary,

    I am British which means that I am shit at saying how amazing I think people are as an opener. In fact, I am writing the introduction after the main body because I realised that you were American and would respond better to gushing adoration. Being British this doesn’t come naturally to me but to be honest I love reading your articles and I love your style. I, also, love your house and live in a similar British house – in that it’s old, beautiful but costs an arm and a leg to heat – which is British for a fuck of a lot of money. Perhaps we should house swap for a holiday but not in the winter!

    I wrote this book:

    A Modern Military Mother – Tales from the Domestic Frontline

    and there are two chapters in it inspired by you because reading your blog gave me the confidence to be more honest about who I was in my blog.

    – WARNING – Obnoxious and Vulgar just like me
    – Fear of Flying

    I wondered if you would be interested in reviewing it. I am based in the UK so I could email you a PDF if you would like to read it. I think you’ll find it funny as it has much adult humour in it plus I like swearing.

    Obviously, I would be honoured if you read it but I am skint (which is British for poor) so can’t pay which blows goats (which is British for goat fellatio). I would if I could (pay you not blow goats – I would never blow a goat under any circumstance) – I promise. I would be indebted and pay you one day if I ever made the big time.

    Anyway think about it – my email is: Iwouldneverdoit@goatblowing.co.uk

    your devoted fan, Clare xxx

    A Modern Military Mother

    www.amazon.com

    A Modern Military Mother – Tales from the Domestic Frontline is a compilation of blog posts from the blog amodernmilitarymother.com about the life, reflections and rants of military wife Clare Macnaughton. Sometimes funny, sometimes sad and sometimes crazy, this is a quick and easy read. A literary, light snack.
  • Mary Baschoff McCarthy

    Clare,

    I have tears in my eyes. Not just because of your (brilliant effort!) gushing adoration (sorry on behalf of my moronic nation that you had to put yourself through that) but also because Fear of Flying is my favorite book and figures prominently in the novel I am finishing edits on this week.

    CONGRATULATIONS on your book! Not making this up: I am working on a post called “5 Books You Need to Order On Amazon Today.” And I have four books for it. Can you believe that?

    And all you have to do to be the 5th is send a picture along of you blowing a goat. Seems fair, yes?

    Skint is a great word. I’ve never heard it. I am perpetually skint in life. And I would never take your money. We will swap reviews- when my book comes you can review it, if you don’t mind books about dirty sexy women.

    My email is Iwantyoutoblowsomegoats@gmail.com. Thanks for being inspired by me, sorry it wasn’t someone better!

    xoxo
    marymac
    p.s. you know i was kidding about fellating the goat, correct?

 

Have you bought my godamn mother fucking book yet? If you haven’t please do so. I really would like to become financially independent and not have to shaft my decorated war hero of a husband out of he is hard earned pension when we get divorced. Please help me support myself – plus it’s a great read – if you don’t believe me, as clearly I am biased, check out the 23 reviews on Amazon.

A Modern Military Mother – Tales from the Domestic Frontline is a compilation of blog posts from the blog amodernmilitarymother.com about the life, reflections and rants of military wife, Clare Macnaughton. Sometimes funny, sometimes sad and sometimes crazy this is a quick and easy read. It’s a literary, light snack.

The book is available:

Amazon UK kindle – click here

Price £2.58

Amazon UK Paperback – click here

Price £3.75

About Clare Macnaughton.

Clare Macnaughton started the blog AModernMilitaryMother.com in 2009 to help explain life from the other side of the British military. She wrote her blog as a reflection of her own experiences in a decade of marriage to a man who serves in the military. This was her truth. Despite her separation she cannot sever from military life completely, her husband still deploys to Afghanistan and her children are still impacted by the continued and prolonged absences of their father. She is still a modern, military mother.

 

Please note: No goats were blown in the writing of this blog post

 

 

 

4 Comments

  1. This reminds me of a landlord I once worked for who had an email address of DogsThatDoTongues@

    I fucking kid you not (kid.. goats… geddit?!)

    I am waiting for my book to arrive and I cannot wait to read it and then shout about it to anybody who will listen. And in fact many who aren’t listening but soon will be when I shove a copy under their noses.

    And what is this anti spam thing below the comment box? I am shit at maths. I am a human but I just don’t know what 9×3 is. Can I have two goes?

    1. OMG!! Some people! Seriously!

      I totes can’t wait for you to read the book either – there is a chapter called Bumholes which may also reference goat blowing. I can’t be held responsible for the anti-spam thing – a real geek did it. I think you can get a calculator app for your phone. That’s all I got 😉

  2. I love you! The pic of you and the goat is ADORBS so I can’t wait to review your book. 🙂 I know you’re jealous of my email address.

    Xoxoxo and congrats on the book!!!
    Marymac

    1. No – I LOVE YOU!!! You complete me. I can’t wait for your review of the book. Your email address blows goats. 😀

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