From Fat to Fit…..

Since we have moved up from Dorset-shire to sunny Hampshire the one thing that has been sorely neglected is my metabolic rate. I am slowly turning into a saggy, old, baggy old, cloth eared old cat – yep Bagpuss. The big 40 looms just one whole year away and if I don’t grip it now then the slippery slope of sagdom will just become the norm.

I don’t hate exercise. I just I don’t make it my priority. Up until last year, I have always done some exercise but since we moved it has completely dropped off the radar and I need it back in my life. I have employed the services of another military wife, who I shall call Hell-Woman. She is an inspiration to me. She has four kids, manages her own business and also runs two marathons a year. Her personal best 3hrs 34 minutes!!!!!!!! GULP!!! She is very scary and pulls no punches – she is exactly what I need to batter my aged arse into some kind of shape. We are training for The British 10k London which starts just outside The RAF Club in Piccadilly, which we are members so that is where I shall be falling after the big run.

I am going to raise money for The Forces Children’s Trust. (The Forces Children’s Trust is a charity devoted to helping dependent children that have lost a parent whilst serving with the Armed Forces.) This is a charity very close to my heart for obvious reasons; being married to the military with two children, fathered by a serviceman, and also because my mother died when I was 2yrs 9 months old. I know from personal experience that the death of a parent is something that children are eternally coming to terms with over a lifetime and milestones. I also think people find it very difficult to know how to respond to the death of someone who has died in the line of duty. I can’t imagine what it is like being a widow but I do know that raising children alone is incredibly challenging and isolating. So from now on – I shall be banging the charity drum. I will also get my shit together and work out to set up some kind of easy-giving system – watch this space. Probably in the New Year unless anyone wants to email me some info on how to do it! ( All help welcome.

I am meeting Hell-woman on Monday for our first session, and first step on the training road. If anyone cares to join me in this mission, then you are more than welcome but if not it’s a road I am ready to plod alone (well, with Hell-woman cracking her evil whip next to me, shouting ‘come on Dover – move your blooming arse!)

I am now popping down the road to Devon to Olivenet HQ to hang out with Good CO, Bad CO, Evil Adjutant and hopefully, have a little cuddle with mini Good CO, who has just appeared to rock the good ship Olivenet and show everyone who is really in charge! Olivenet are the mothership company that run a family of military forums, for whom I consult in all matter media and marketing. You’ll find me on the forums running PR_Totty’s Media Ops, which is my forum handle – ‘breaker, breaker, ten, four, copy, squelch’

The Army Rumour Service
Rum Ration
Rear Party

It’s our Christmas party, plus we are all going to sit down together and work out how we can get as rich as Donald Trump in 10 minutes. However, it is more likely talk about lots of blah, get drunk and fall over!

So before I head down the road I have one last blogging duty to do and that is draw the winner of the bumper giveway in my role as a Toys R Us Toyologist:

The prize up for grabs is:

Ben 10 Shaker Maker £9.99
Shake, shake, shake and magically create! Just fill the specially designed moulds with Shaker Maker Powder and shake to create 2 Ben 10 models, then decorate them however you want using the paints provided.

Disney Princess Shaker Maker £9.99
Magically create artistic models of your favourite Disney Princesses with shaker maker for hours of educational fun. Add the magic powder to water, shake, remove, dry and paint.

Galt Cute Cupcakes £5.99
This pretty plaster moulding kits lets you mould and decorate 4 mini cupcakes and a cake stand to display them on. Add sparkle with glitter glue. They almost look good enough to eat!

Leapster Explorer Green Console £49.99
The Leapster Explorer Green Console is an amazing learning experience that encourages children to discover something new every day. They are endless ways to play and learn – from games, e-, videos, and online play to customisbale learning skills and more!

Leapster Explorer Penguins of Madagascar Software £19.99
Leapster Explorer Penguins of Madagascar Software sees Skipper suspect that Private is getting soft, so he has created four training missions, each with a differet plush toy to rescue. Rise to the challenge and sharpen your mathematics skills while Private hones his elite commando skills.

Snazaroo Girl Face Paints £9.99
Paint children’s faces using these hyper-allergenic and non-toxic water-based face paints which are easy to remove and come with a handy step-by-step guide. Includes eight different colours, a brush and a sponge.

Sticky Mosiacs Unicorns £14.99
Get creative with this fun mosiacs by numbers craft set that includes over 3000 sticky foam pieces and 4 sparkling pony mosiac boards.

And the winner is………..SAMANTHA BRADY!!!! whoop, whoop!!! Now Samantha – I need you to review all of these toys, which means if you do a good job then you do have a chance of earning your toyologist wings!!!

Once again, I am going to thank Toys R Us for instigating the Toyologist programme we have loved being a part of it. I have some reviews pending before Christmas and I think the last box is due on Thursday so if you are looking for an Christmas toy ideas then pop over to any of the toyologists in my special toyologist blog roll on the right hand side of the blog.

All of my toy reviews can be found in:


Silly season has begun. This weekend we have ‘The Squadron Christmas dinner’ (paid for out of our purse not the MODs before anyone calls the budget police) with all the yoof (young, hot support helicopter pilots – young man! I shall try not rub my legs too much), so that I can feel really old. Then on Saturday, drinks with the gorgeous Max Arthur at The Groucho Club, followed by supper with The Gorbals (Do you know them? Lovely couple – lots of fun!) and then another fab military discounted night at Malmaison. Busy, busy, busy – right I am off to see the COs – toodle pip!


  1. Yeah the only way to get fit is to have some hell woman screaming at you ….alas I’m still at the head in sand phase where I pretend the scales are broken when they tell me I’m 15 pounds overweight. But good for you for doing something about it.

  2. I have done the said London 10K – I was pregnant and managed it in 44 mins, although the course is tougher than you expect for a “flat” run, especially the bit where you think you are finishing on Whitehall, then they make you run up the other side of it too!!! I expect Hellwoman will get you somewhere more like 35 mins, knowing her turn of speed!! Much love for the training sessions, and we really must try to catch up in 2011, its been too long!!!

  3. I have never done a day’s exercise in my life. In fact, I’ve barely done an hour’s. I’d take my hat of to you, madam, but that really would be too much like hard work.

  4. I’m with you, Clare. I used to be awesome at exercise and now I just can’t seem to keep it in my priority list at all. But blogging is giving me a saggy ass and I wish I could meet with you and Hell Woman. Too bad you are several thousand miles away. Maybe I can still pick up on your inspiration and find my own Hell Woman around here.

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