There is a thread on Mumsnet in the Feminism Section called ‘Sally Bercow on Big Brother…..does she, or any spouse, have a duty to their spouses job/role?’
The thread started by The Posie Parker raised the question:
“She’s going in BB, her husband is a public, very public, servant does she make his position and role more difficult?”
Are we all a little responsible to ‘behave’ when our partner’s employers/public may view us an extension of them?
[FYI Sally Bercow is the wife of the Speaker of the House of Commons, John Bercow. She was a housemate on Celebrity Big Brother and was evicted from the house on 26 August 2011.]
This was my response:
“We are all independent individuals who should be accountable for our choices and decisions. She has the freedom to do as she wants – she is not the speaker of the house or his servant – she is his partner.
I would say that though because I spend my life saying this to the military. I am not in the military. I am not bound by your rules – half the time I think they shaft people; but let’s not get into that. Although military/Govt – it’s not much different really. It’s all horsesh*t – while she’s on BB who is to say he’s not tied up in some dungeon in Westminster being administered the cane by Madam Whiplash (nb; this is a joke – I am sure he’s tucked up with his Horlicks keeping his vocals good to call ‘order, order’).”
John Bercow has publicly stated that his wife ‘is not my chattel’.
I had an interesting ‘off the record’ conversation with ‘a friend’ and it was stated to me; ‘like it or not while you are still married to [HUSBAND] your actions will affect his career.’
Therefore, in order for me to do what I want and to liberate Hagar it looks like we will be getting a divorce then. Is that a bit drastic? I guess the time has come to tell you that Hagar and I are in fact separated.
Big Brother is watching the blog and I have been ‘unofficially’ warned to be careful. Hagar has been ‘unofficially’ bound and gagged. The Godfather is not happy. My husband has been taken prisoner by the military and the ransom is Â£100,000 which we don’t have.
I asked Hagar what he thought of this turn of events and he said; ‘no comment.’
I have spent 13 years embedded in the military and I have met many people and had many ‘off the record’ conversations in the bar, in the street, in the Mess, at dinner parties and social occasions that don’t make easy hearing. If you have met me and you are in the military then you are my source. Maybe you can’t remember what you have said to me, or in my presence, but I remember what you have said to me. My husband isn’t my source; my life is my source and in addition, I work in circles that are connected to the military and people talk freely to me about things that I wish I didn’t know.
I am tired of the conflict in Afghanistan; and yet I am supporting it by keeping the home fires burning. I am supporting Hagar to enable him to deliver his role, even though I don’t support the conflict and the methods deployed to achieve effect. For the record – I don’t support any unlawful killing either. There is so much hypocrisy in the rationale for Afghanistan.
The reason for my fatigue is not to do with Hagar but came as a result of reading ‘War’ by Sebastian Junger which made me realise that men need war [click on the link for the blog post], watching the film “Restrepo” and then Tim Hetherington being killed in Libya. His death hit me very hard because I felt we were robbed of a great man, a great thinker and genuine independent liberal, who could make a difference.
I believe that war is a business created by men and I have changed my mind. Stop the bus! I want to get off – I fundamentally disagree with killing people.
I don’t want to support the war no more. Is freedom of speech my right? Anyway, the guy that looks like Mike Yarwood, that is the Station Commander at RAF Odiham, when I met him to discuss the blog, he promised me faithfully that the days where serving personnel where judged by their spouses actions were a thing of the past; so maybe I have got it wrong.
To Hagar, my husband, I am truly sorry that I have ruined your career in the military – especially if now after this post they will punish you but I hate being bullied and I won’t be blackmailed. But I agree with John Bercow; I am your partner not your chattel.
Hagar said; ‘no comment’.