Apparently, it all kicked off on BBC Breakfast this morning with Katie Hopkins and Mumsnet something to do with sitting next to babies at the Olympics. To be honest, I would be offended if I had to sit next to Katie Hopkins at the Olympics. (This will never happen because I hate crowds and going to the watch the Olympics in a brimming stadium is my idea of hell….anyway I digresss..) I watched the delightful Katie Big Nose on Question Time and my fur was bristled by her then.

I am not sure why Katie Hopkins hates women so much, maybe it is because she hates herself for being one. It is likely that she can see the inherent disadvantage that women have in the male governed world simply by being a woman. She is women, and so, she is by birth, disadvantaged. Her response is not to fight the inequalities; but to join the oppressors by conducting herself in the same way that men do.

The unfortunate downside of this strategy is, of course, that women now hate her, and regardless of her ‘look I am just like you approach’, men are loyal to men. Ultimately, even when she acts like a man, she is still a woman and, therefore, by birth and default, inferior in their eyes. In the end she will create universal dislike, apart from the odd bigoted, old skool, male dinosaur.

I feel sorry for Katie Hopkins because she clearly hates being a woman, hates herself for being a woman, and, because she is so unhappy about it, she is now going to attack all woman.

I wonder what her relationship with her mother was like. At the end of the day Katie Hopkins, you will never be a man, even if you had a sex change you would be transexual. There is nothing you can do about it and no amount of breaking up people’s marriages and slagging off women is going to change the fact that you are, and always will be, a woman. *Capiche?*

Katie Hopkins is like a comedy panto villainesse and she is doing really well at it because as Oscar Wilde said, ‘the only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.’ All the tongues are wagging at her misogyny and I am sure she will make lots of money but she will never happy because at the end of the day, when it’s all said and done, she will still be a woman and one with a big nose. Come on love – time for a nose job, might make you like yourself a bit more!

(I am sorry that was mean, uncalled for, and very disloyal to the sisterhood. Sorry Big Nose! Whoops! There I did it again…I am so childish! This time I am really sorry!)

Buying Valentine’s day gifts and anniversary gifts are an opportunity to connect and indulge this estranged passion. In absentia, it provides a chance to surprise your loved one with a special gift, or flowers, without your partner thinking that you have been putting it about.

The Internet is a wonderful thing and even from the fighting dustbowl that is Afghanistan you can rustle up a gift for her and order online. There is no need to ever disappoint your loved ones again.

Valentines and anniversaries are a time to say thank you to loved ones for supporting you and to show them that even though you might be a grumpy, ungrateful, unappreciative miserable pain in the bottom that you still love them! #Justsaying!

This post has been brought to you with a little help from Interflora

Heledd Kendrick was put in touch with me by the military wives that launched the website Follow The Flag, an online directory for the self employed military spouse. Being married to the military can be about sacrifice. We give up so much to support our spouses so that they can deliver the effect. Often, more than you ever knew, especially if you have children. (Who knew what a journey they would be, married to the military aside?) Then throw in an absentee spouse, akin to Peter Pan, or Petra Pan (very PC), and what you have is barefoot, pregnant, tied to the mobile kitchen.

Heledd and I hit it off immediately because we both are not very good at selflessly serving our spouses and children. We, unapologetically, have ambitions and visions of a life for ourselves, where, heaven forbid, we actually earn money akin to our investment in our education and work/life experience.

Heledd is a former race horse jockey, and editor of a horse racing magazine, who subsequently fell in love with an army fella. Once married and bound she discovered the incarceration of military spousedom. She then sought to find a solution to the complexities of seeking gainful employment, while betrothed to the military and living a nomadic life. The concept for Recruit for Spouses was born.

After months of blood, sweat and tears and community pulling together in true Dunkerque style, with gallons of support from the Royal British Legion’s Women – yesterday was the launch at The Union Jack Club

Military Wife Launches Jobsite for Military Spouses – RECRUIT FOR SPOUSES

NATIONAL businesses are being invited to support the British Forces and their families, through the not-for-profit organisation, Recruit For Spouses, which launched on 17th January 2012.

Recruit For Spouses has been set up to bridge the gap between national employers and a growing band of service spouses who are seeking to re-enter the workplace, after subjugating their careers due to their partners’ numerous postings and frequent deployment.

http://www.recruitforspouses.co.uk

The company has benefited from funding and support from the Women’s Section of the Royal British Legion and the web development skills of international digital agency, STEAK.

The Wiltshire based founder, Heledd Kendrick (herself an Army spouse and mother of two young children) who has been developing the concept for over two years, said that it had been;
“a long but worthwhile journey bringing the site to its launch this month”. She continued, “One of the hardest things about being married to a soldier, sailor or airman, is the constant moving around; rendering it almost impossible to find a job. Employers perceive service spouses as being too transient to make a worthwhile contribution to their organisations. However we’re here to prove otherwise – be it short term, contracts, flexi working, job-sharing, full-time employment or virtual (online) work”.

Kendrick will be introducing potential employers to over 400 registered candidates from a diverse background, and who count skills and trades such as accountancy, HR experts, lawyers and PAs among their numbers. STEAK has created a sleek web design, which makes it simple for employers and spouses to register their vacancies and CVs.

A nominal charge will be made to employers (significantly less than most recruitment agencies) and profits from the venture will be ploughed back into service charities, fully embracing the much talked about military covenant.

Recruit for Spouses already has partnered with both British Telecom, Siemens and Golly Slater providing a range of opportunities for service wives and has established a meaningful dialogues with the regional Chambers of Commerce, resulting in the North East Chamber of Commerce advocating the initiative to their 4000 members.

For further information on Recruit For Spouses, please contact:
info@recruitforspouses.co.uk
http://www.recruitforspouses.co.uk

About the author: Alia Haley is a blogger by profession. She loves writing on technology, parenting, fashion and luxury. Beside this she is fond of phones and bags. Recently an article on silk scarf attracted her attention. These days she is busy in writing an article on Rimmel Mascara.

What do you think British people are like? How much do you know about British people? Do you believe in all the myths surrounding them? Britain receives a large number of foreign students every year and each of them comes here with a stereotyped knowledge of the British people. No wonder, there are many surrounding them – their behavior, attitudes, way of life and eating and drinking habits. Probably the time has come to dispel all these myths for good. We have accumulated some true traits of Britishers based on extensive study and research. Happy reading!

Brits are addicted to tea
Believe it or not, a whopping 2.3kg of tea is consumed each year per person. They like to have their cup of tea at regular intervals. In fact, they do not mind consuming some extra cups of tea throughout the day. But don’t be afraid as you will not be frowned upon if you are not a big fan of tea. There are global coffee chains all around and you will get ample shops which sell fruit, herbal or green teas.

Brits are renowned to form a queue
There is a joke which goes around that if ‘standing for long hours’ was made an olympic sport, and then the Brits will take away all the honors. On a more serious note, it is overwhelming to note that how politely they can queue at bus stops, airports and even roadside shops. Though many people will laugh at this, we must appreciate that we hardly witness such discipline in any country in the world.

Brits are funny
Many foreigners have actually commented that they are the most hilarious lot of people. The people have an in-depth ironic sense of humor which may be hard to understand for any foreign visitor but once you get used to it, you will simply love the British sense of humor and their comic timing.

The British people are reserved in nature
This is definitely a true assessment of Britishers. They are, by nature, very reserved people. Many foreign nationals mistake this attitude for being ‘snooty’ which is so unfair on them. There is a saying in London that you need to be very lucky to make an eye contact with a native. If you really want a Brit to speak to you then start with the universal favorite topic – the British weather. They can be very good friends too but you need to give them ample time and opportunity so that they know you better.

British footfall fans are not hooligans
They just love the game they invented -football. The Brits are very loyal to their favorite clubs and they are very demonstrative and vocal about it. It is only a small population of football fans that gets drunk. In most cases you will find that the game of football actually manages to unify people and brings even strangers closer in defeat and victory. The term ‘hooligans’ was coined by the British media but always remember that a majority of football fans just love their game and will not do anything disrespectful.

Little AMMM

Big AMMM

The Birthday Bollywood Birthday Bonanza with Fireworks was a rip roaring success. The best thing about it for me was that it was a communal effort. Everyone played their part in the party and, as such, the end result was just fabulous and brilliant.

The food was outstanding. Hand reared local lamb, marinaded to perfection by my friend from Ms Licky from New York, slow cooked in the aga for 4 hours, Ms Bandana rustled up dahl and aloo gobi, Mr Set Dresser made a fantastic Goan Chicken Curry and Brindal curry with parathas, with samosas, pakora, courtesy of Mr Blokefriend and Mrs Ladyfriend rajita, poppadoms and mango chutney I did me sen.

As The Wylye Valley Girl so aptly put on Facebook:
“It was very dull. I mean, no-one got drunk and fell over the mushrooms, no-one barfed in the garden, no-one slaughtered ‘Kayleigh’ on Singstar, no-one broke two pairs of glasses, the fireworks were rubbish, the food was lousy, no-one did tequila slammers, no-one stayed till 5am… you can count me out next year!”

Thank you to all my lovely guest-icles and others who made it the best birthday ever. 40 opened well!

So now the time has come to sit firmly back in reality…this is the year of opportunity and I am back in lock down working on another book proposal which is all consuming so forgive and “bear with” (Miranda DVD Box Set for birthday – snigger. I can’t help myself. It is funny!) because the blogging is going to be a little sporadic over the next couple of weeks.

But the good news is that I have been asked to speak at Brit Mums Live on 22nd June in London.

Come and join the party – click here to register.

Also, every Monday you will find me writing with the sassy rock chicks at In The Powder Room and tomorrow is a blinder as me and Wylye Valley Girl have decided to make this year about us and everyone else can go fuck themselves!! Bring it on 2012!

Happy New Year 2012

Watch the video to hear my plans. What are yours?

Ps: This is me just quickly blogging one off. Have folk over tonight and then we are having a Bouncing Bollywood Birthday Bonanza to celebrate my 40th!! I am so excited as we also will be showcasing the disco ball in the dining room.

Pps: There may well be a film of the Bollywood Birthday but it might not happen – it depends on how pissed we get!!

I was very lucky because the big man himself, CEO Bryn Parry was there and he was delighted to receive the toys on behalf of the charity, Help for Heroes.

Toys R Us UK and their vendors sent a fantastic selection of games and toys that will keep the children busy for hours while those in charge can hang out and enjoy a decent coffee in the great drop in cafe area.

The toy haul included:

Barbie Water Park
BARBIE® Puppy Water Park!: Barbie® and her puppies are ready for fun water play adventures at the water park! Includes waterslide and Ferris wheel for the puppies to ride, and Barbie® doll also has a great squirt gun to enjoy water play fun with her favorite puppy friends! Includes doll, 2 puppies and water park accessory.

Baby Born Clapping Hands
BABY born sings Pat-A-Cake nursery rhyme whilst clapping her hands. Doll is interactive and when the child assists BABY born to clap her hands the doll sings faster or slower accordingly.

Alphabet Lotto
Learn the letters of the alphabet in this fun lotto game! Choose which side of the board you play on and try to be the first player to find all the cards that match the letters, or pictures, on your lotto board.

Head Shoulders Knees & Toes
Head, shoulders, knees and toes, and eyes and ears and mouth and nose! Have fun learning about parts of the body with this all-action lotto guessing game.

Pirate Snakes and Ladders
Two games in one! Old favourites are given an exciting pirate twist on this double-sided playing board. Raise the anchor and set a course for the buried treasure in snakes and ladders, or join the pirate fun on the ludo board on the back! For 2-4 players.

Jack and Jill
Race up the hill and be the first to reach the well! A fun counting and colour matching game. Roll the dice to climb the hill and be the first player to reach the well and win the game. But be careful, spin the spinner and you might fall down to the bottom and have to start all over again!

Crazy Chefs
Join the chefs in the crazy kitchen and collect everything they need to make a meal in this great Crazy Chefs game! Grab your plate and wait for your dish to cook! Will you be the first to serve up a tasty treat? A fun lotto game with a food theme. For 2-5 players.

Old Macdonalds Lotto
A fun farmyard lotto for very young players. Make lots of noises and actions as you find the farm cards to match the pictures on your playing board. Be the first player to match your farmer and you win the game! For 2-4 players, encourages observation, memory and object matching skills.

Knex Dinosaur Building Set
The K’Nex Dinosaurs 20 Model Building Set is packed with 326 parts to build a T-Rex, Brontosaurus, Pterodactyl and more. Then bring them to life with the motion-activated sound brick! Instructions and building ideas are included for over 20 different dinosaur models, ranging from beginner to more challenging. Or, use your imagination and create your own dinosaur!

Jumbo Colouring Pad Blue
An oversized colouring book where the outline drawing appears on one side only, so that your child’s masterpiece won’t smudge. The oversized pad is premium white bond paper and the pages tear out cleanly to allow more than one child to colour simultaneously and for proud display once completed! Fifty favourite themes, including animals, sports and vehicles are just waiting for the imagination of your artist to colour. 36 x 28 cm

Jumbo Colouring Pad Pink
You and your young artist will enter a world of magical beauty on the pages of this fantastic coloring pad. Fifty pages of premium bond paper are full of fairies and princesses awaiting your colorful touch and fabulous sense of design. The pages tear out cleanly for display or gift giving!

5 x Triangular Crayon set x 4
These ingenious, triangular shaped crayons wont roll away. Made of plastic, not wax, for additional durability, this set of 24 rainbow color, non toxic crayons stay on the table just where your little artist put them.

Rainbow Scraper
Just create your own masterpieces by scraping away the pre-printed outlines.

Thank you so much Toys R Us for giving me the opportunity to share so many great toys with many children who will get hours of fun.

We’ve put them to the test on a really frosty morning and our feet have stayed lovely and warm but you definitely won’t need to wear them if the you’re indoors with the heating on as they do tend to make your feet extra hot and a bit sweaty!! The real test will be when the snow comes, coupled with wellies, but I’m confident they won’t let me down! Even the husband has become a ‘thermal sock convert’ since being forced to wear these for a week.

The socks wash well, although the fleece inside loses it’s smooth appearance it doesn’t affect the comfort of them. I’ve tried other thermal socks but none have been as soft to wear or kept my feet as warm, I will definitely be buying more in a range of various colours!!

Brought to you courtesy of Heat Holders

I must have been to France more than 50 times, from school trips as a child to day trips as a romantic grown up, countless business trips to Paris and in recent years an increasing number of weddings in far flung rural backwaters. It never takes long before I tire of their laidback (read lazy) lifestyle and can’t wait to get back on the ferry, plane or Eurostar though eager to get home to a country which embraces the needs of the consumer, where the shops are always open and where in the most part vital public services aren’t held to ransom by greedy civil servants on a regular basis or the streets filled with rampaging youths from their downtrodden immigrant neighbourhoods making a stand against the criminal inequalities present in their society, and believe me France has serious problems bubbling away under the surface the likes of which we will never understand. My work has taken me all over the world and I have been fortunate enough to get a glimpse of how society works in nations across the globe and believe we should do far more to draw comparisons with our peers.

We all know that Britain isn’t perfect by any means, we certainly have our own issues and we will ignore them at our peril. But right now, we’re in a difficult place, beginning the long road to wean the majority off a something for nothing culture, where credit was cheap and easy to come by and we were all riding on the crest of a wave of economic growth and optimism. Perhaps our parents forgot to pass on the message that nothing lasts forever and we might need to “save something for a rainy day” while we’re all “making hay while the sun shines”. More likely of course, we just ignored all that chat from the old folks and ploughed on regardless, addicted to the constant barrage of celebrity culture which taught us so much about how much we all wanted to be like someone else, craving the luxuries that everyone else seemed to have. It didn’t matter that we had to put the groceries on the credit card, or change to an interest only mortgage to afford the new car, handbag or must have clothes, we were living the dream and it was going to last forever, and we deserved it didnt we? Of course, it was only a matter of time before it turned into a nightmare. A nightmare they’re in the midst of in mainland Europe right now and perhaps one it will take them many years to get out of unless the guys with all the cash help out the ones without it and that’s going to come with conditions. Keeping up with the Joneses doesn’t come cheap.

For the majority of us Brits that have to work crazy hours to fund our lifestyles and to still enjoy a level of purchasing power most of the world’s citizens can only dream of…. this is an absolutely mental idea. After all, why would we want to work for anyone else? Where’s the benefit for us in paying taxes to support the sloth of other nations we have nothing in common with. Why would we being to enter dialogue to allow others to determine how we run our affairs? To set our taxes, our national budgets or further regulate our businesses. It’s a big price to pay for a free market that only accounts for a third of the economy. After all, this really isn’t our problem either. Relatively speaking, we have a strong economy. we’re weathering the storm really rather well and we can still throw our weight around with the best of them. Despite the years of soft diplomacy and quietly going about our business, we’re still an economic powerhouse and it’s no coincidence that Europe’s other two major industrialised nations might feel it’s a good idea to dilute our influence in an industry where we lead and still find it easy to generate vast profits mostly on the back of other people’s money, their money. I can see why they’re jealous of our autonomy, yet the European popular press has dismissed it as arrogance. Nothing new there then, but on Europe it’s easy for us to look back on the decisions we have made since the 50’s, our staunch opposition to the single currency and to remind others time and time again that we saw this coming.

After all the talk of isolation and going it alone, we’ll soon see there’s a great opportunity here, after all how many countries are really going to sign up a deal that effectively removes the very sovereignty that citizens elect their own politicians for! Who will they hold accountable if their national politicians have no control over the cash and how it’s spent? Will the laid back citizens of Southern Europe really accept German fiscal discipline as the norm? Not likely, as once they start discussing the nitty gritty even the French will probably decide it’s not for them and we’ll all be back to square one. The European dream will finally be over and uncovered for what it really is, a thin veil of civility across nations that really aren’t that civilised at all.

Of course, although no one has voted for fiscal union yet it could still happen. We don’t really know how bad the situation is for some of our European neighbours and signing up to some draconian rules drawn up by the successful economies of the union may well be the best out of a host of bad options. This can’t be sugar coated however, and neither should it be. In reality it’s not just an economic treaty that’s being proposed and that’s why even a relative centrist Tory like Cameron wants no part of it, centralised economic control can only lead to social change on an unprecedented scale and the cynic in me would point out that the Germans would rather like that, after all – with us out of the way and with the lion’s share of the cash in the bank they would be very much in charge.

So where have we heard this before? If we go on the premise that you can’t change who you are, only your behaviour then we could witness the Germans impose their political and fiscal will on a continent without a bullet being fired, after all why would they need to? They enjoy a level of influence now not seen since the 1930’s and we don’t need to flick too far through the history channels to find out what happened then, although in different circumstances a crippling economic crisis was the catalyst for a very new world, where extremism led the way in political policy for citizens that had nowhere else to turn.

So shouldn’t we care about stability and security? The answer is not really. Sure, some of those European countries might turn to extremism to get them out of a problem after a couple of years of teutonic belt tightening, we might get some crazy far left or right wing governments around the place who present a credible threat to our national security or more importantly, a threat to that thing we hold dearer than anything else – our wealth and the tools to create and sustain it. But that’s one of the things we have a tooled up military for, if all else fails, we send them in to take care of business for us, something we all shamelessly find a little pride in.

In crisis however, there is always opportunity, to look at things differently, to rebuild and perpetuate our ties with the commonwealth nations, to work with our friends in the far east and the Americas. We’ve been trading with nations across the globe for hundreds of years, the commonwealth enjoys a population in excess of two billion people and 12 million square miles and our language is universal in business. What do we have to lose?
It’s time to embrace our opportunities, to stop feeling sorry for ourselves and to get on with that very british trait of making things happen. We’ll no doubt have a bit of a moan about the weather, we’ll certainly pause for tea and a hard binge drinking session or two, we’ll make plenty of cultural faux pas, but that’s who we are – unashamedly awkward, wildly opinionated, burdened with history and expectation, but we’re all statesmen in our own way, taking our unique brand of britishness with us. But would we ever have it any other way?

Mr Brown

‘Thanks, Soldier’, the online campaign recently launched by ABF The Soldiers’ Charity has announced The White Cliffs of Dover as the iconic British landmark venue where it’s interactive Union Jack will be projected at the close of 2011.

Launched at the beginning of the month, The Soldiers’ Charity, the national charity of the British Army since 1944, is asking its supporters, fans on Facebook and followers on Twitter to show Britain’s brave men and women how much they care.

People can join up in just a few clicks, by visiting Thanks Soldier and adding their Facebook profile picture to the online Union Jack flag. As the flag grows through the month, people can enjoy searching for themselves and their friends and the climax of the campaign will eventually see the flag projected onto Dover’s White Cliffs, which are renowned for being referenced in the World War Two song made famous by ‘The Forces sweetheart’ Dame Vera Lynn.

Celebrities including Gary Lineker, Joanna Lumley, Sara Cox, Fern Britton, Ben Sheppard and Kate Humble have already added their photos. The Soldiers’ Charity Chief Executive, Major General Sir Evelyn Webb-Carter, says:

“We hope as many people as possible will join our campaign to say ‘Thanks, Soldier’ especially to those who are away from their families over the festive season. Go to www.soldierscharity.org/thanks and be a part of it.”

Over the past year*, The Soldiers’ Charity has supported over 80 specialist charities and some 4,000 individuals. It has seen a 12% increase in the number of grants to individuals and a 17% increase in the cost of grants to individuals. The charity’s oldest beneficiary during the year was 104 and the youngest was 18 months old.

The average grant The Soldiers’ Charity makes is approximately £800. There has been a steady increase in the numbers of people seeking its help in recent years and expects this to increase with the continuing operations in Afghanistan. To find out more about how we make a difference visit www.soldierscharity.org

For media enquiries and further information please email Tommy Greatrex at The Soldiers’ Charity on: tommy@soldierschairty.org
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1. ABF The Soldiers’ Charity supports soldiers, former soldiers and their families in times of need. For information about The Soldiers’ Charity and how they support our soldiers visit www.soldierscharity.org