• The Case of The Missing Hamster: Chapter Ten

    By E M Faustus on July 16, 2013
      The Tenth Bit:  Vocal Projection Exercises.     “Eh…. Excuse me Mr Hamster.”  Said Pete.  “We are not actually practitioners of the Majic Arts.  My business partner, Mr Faustus here,  claims it to be just ‘a load of old testicles and an excuse for a lot of middle aged horny illegitimate sons of lady dogs to dance around in […]
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  • The Case of The Missing Hamster: Chapter Nine

    By E M Faustus on July 15, 2013
    The Ninth Bit:  A touch of Gratuitous violence.     The fire ball hit me square in the chest, totally ruining one of my favourite shirts.  And I’d never be able to wear that tie again.  Still, it was entertaining watching the ball bounce off my chest and slam into the bread bin, melting it within a second. “I just […]
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  • The Case of The Missing Hamster: Part Eight

    By E M Faustus on July 14, 2013
    The Eight Bit: Rain of Hellfire… well, if I’m honest, more of a drizzle.     On the plus side, I only found one more bite mark on Clare.  On the down side, it was on her back and inside a circle of blood.  Nasty work that.  She did scream a bit when I scrubbed it clean with Salt and […]
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  • The Case of The Missing Hamster: Part Seven

    By E M Faustus on July 13, 2013
    The Seventh Bit:  The Dame Gets her Kit Off.  (Video’s available upon application to Humphrey at www.dirtylittlepervert.com)     It was an odd explosion. There weren’t any bits of him splattered about he just sought of…. blew out.  Then blew back in again.  Then got real fat, then thin then short, then long then… look.  to save using a lot […]
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  • The Case Of The Missing Hamster: Part Six

    By E M Faustus on July 12, 2013
    The Sixth Bit:  Jammy Slippery Pervert     The hamster cage was empty.  Just like she said it was.  But there was potential evidence in there.   Shame I couldn’t lift the cage off the table. “Hagar glues it down to stop the kid’s taking the Hamster out.”  Clare said, matter of factly after she had watched me for five minutes […]
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  • The Case of The Missing Hamster: Part Five

    By E M Faustus on July 11, 2013
    The Fifth Bit:  Where The Dame Does the Skinny…. which isn’t a euphemism by the way  Though an interesting visual image.     I poured Clare a fresh coffee while she talked me through the problem.  I listened.  It’s what I do. “Things started going strange a few days ago.  The Hamster kept disappearing.  I’d lock him in his cage […]
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  • Carpet Cleaning: How to Achieve Professional Results At Home

    By A Modern Military Mother on July 11, 2013
    Many contemporary homes boast equally contemporary surroundings, which often means clean lines and a minimalistic colour palette. Even families with young children and pets will invest in stylish cream carpets, white sofas and expensive throws. Such items tend to become soiled a lot quicker than darker fabrics and furniture. In the past, when carpets require cleaning, many would have employed […]
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  • Whipping up weekday dinners

    By A Modern Military Mother on July 11, 2013
    I don’t know about you, but during the week I barely have time to think about what to make for dinner, let alone spend hours in front of the stove. However, just because I’m short on time doesn’t mean that I want my family to gorge on greasy takeaways day in, day out. I’m always looking for ways to create […]
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  • The Case of The Missing Hamster: Part Four.

    By E M Faustus on July 10, 2013
    The Fourth Bit:  Where explanations are given and a pervert is covered in jam.     We were sat on and around the kitchen table.  I was in a chair opposite Clare.  Pete was sat to my right.  Humphrey was wedged into a pot of raspberry jam.  He’d fought a bit, but after I found him rummaging through Clares dirty […]
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  • The Case Of The Missing Hamster: Part Three

    By E M Faustus on July 9, 2013
    The Third Bit:  Pervert Obsessives and Handily Placed Cricket Bats.   “Clare?” I said as the door opened and I instantly saw exactly why Humphrey had wanted us to travel hundreds of miles. She had naturally auburn hair that had seen a touch of a blonde bottle and wasn’t the bottle happy for the chance to play with perfection.  She […]
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