I am exhausted. I am now coming up to the end of Hagar’s 2nd deployment to Afghanistan since March last year. The work that he has been doing in Afghanistan has been significant and had moments of turbulence there is simplicity to his routine that ensures that he can focus on the job at hand. He has three square meals a day, catered and supplied for him. He has his washing done. In lives in ensuite accommodation with TV and wifi and once he returns to it of an evening nobody disturbs him. There is a gym on the base. In essence all he has to do is go to work. When the work is finished he can chill out.
I on the other hand live in absolute chaos. I’d like to think of it as an ordered chaos but the recent ‘Snowmageddon‘ has created this domino effect which simply put renders me in need of a spa break.
First, of all my washing machine was out of action for 2 weeks. Life becomes harder without a washing machine. Out of all of the appliances to break down in my house it is the one that creates the greatest backlog. I even have washing machine insurance but the stars did not align and they could not get an engineer in good time, then when they did he couldn’t fix it, he didn’t have the right parts and then the service engineer booking system was being changed so he couldn’t rebook, then I received an email saying the part was not in stock. My friend came to the rescue and kindly did 4 loads of washing for me. This meant that I had 4 loads of washing to dry around every corner of my house. Then put away. Eventually two weeks later, an engineer arrived, with the necessary part and the washing machine was fixed.
In ‘Snowmageddon’ two of my friends ran out of heating oil and so with their children in tow, hunkered down at my house, where we drank gin, laughed and went sledging.
The fallout though of 3 adults and 5 children traipsing in and out in wet clothes took me a week to recover from. Multiple meals to prepare and clear up, fires to light, beds to make and mess to tidy, whilst juggling my writing work, my client work and caring for the animals, (5 chickens, 3 ducks, 3 cats and two guinea pigs) ferrying and parenting 2 children left me shattered.
I don’t have any personal space. My 9 year daughter has decided that she wants to sleep in my bed with me. It’s hard to argue with her when you are on your own but she wriggles about and invariably sleeps horizontally across it. I need to get tough but when the nights are cold and I am tired I capitulate. My teenager is in full teenage mode and has just been reprimanded at school for fighting. He also failed all of his mocks. I despair.
I am looking forward to being hand over the parenting reigns for even a few hours and slip away knowing that the other parent has as much responsibility as me towards our children. Solo parenting is tough as the burden rests solely with me.
A spa day would be perfect. I dream of peace, massages and a relaxing swim.