The top toff in the country is the Queen – she is the original posh. In order to really be posh you have to be an aristocrat with royal blood coursing through your veins. Without so much as a splash of the royal sanguin within your arteries, like it, or lump it, you are of pikey stock.
At sometime this year (I don’t know the date) there will be the ultimate pikey ascension as Kate Middleton marries Prince William and enters the UK no 1 family posh. I wondered whether we could create a new hybrid of type – maybe she could be called pish, an amalgamation of pikey and posh. But then Hagar pointed out to me that ‘pish’ was Scottish slang for ‘not so good’ so I then thought maybe we could call this new hybrid ‘pokeys’ which seemed much more genteel.
Obviously, the Queen of Pikey, ironically called Posh Spice, I read, has started courting Kate Middleton with her latest collection of clothing. No doubt, angling for an invite to the wedding of the year. I am sure that Elton and David will put in a good word and the Queen of Pikes can be joining them in the pew as the Princess of Pokes makes the first step towards the emergence of the hybrid.
Ultimately, I think being pikey is cooler than being posh. Guy Ritchie with his mockney slang was a posh bloke in disguise as a pikey because pikeys definitely have more fun then posh folk. I think you get away with more as a pikey. Ignorance is bliss. Maybe that’s why I am still torn between my pikey roots and my posh pursuits.
The other day I was talking to someone who is much posher than me and it would appear that bona fide posh people (not the fake Becky Sharp’s like me) are actually rebelling against their own poshness. It would appear that pikey is cooler. At Eton (one of the top posh schools) there is an emergence of a culture, being dubbed as ‘StrEtonian’ (read Streetonian) where the uber posh are speaking like they were born of the gutter. So there we have it – even the posh want to be pikey – maybe they would be happy to be pokeys. I wonder if we could make pokey cool so that I can enjoy posh pursuits and still be cool. Is it even possible to be posh and cool? The dilemma continues!!