Pokey or Pish?

The top toff in the country is the Queen – she is the original posh. In order to really be posh you have to be an aristocrat with royal blood coursing through your veins. Without so much as a splash of the royal sanguin within your arteries, like it, or lump it, you are of pikey stock.

At sometime this year (I don’t know the date) there will be the ultimate pikey ascension as Kate Middleton marries Prince William and enters the UK no 1 family posh. I wondered whether we could create a new hybrid of type – maybe she could be called pish, an amalgamation of pikey and posh. But then Hagar pointed out to me that ‘pish’ was Scottish slang for ‘not so good’ so I then thought maybe we could call this new hybrid ‘pokeys’ which seemed much more genteel.

Obviously, the Queen of Pikey, ironically called Posh Spice, I read, has started courting Kate Middleton with her latest collection of clothing. No doubt, angling for an invite to the wedding of the year. I am sure that Elton and David will put in a good word and the Queen of Pikes can be joining them in the pew as the Princess of Pokes makes the first step towards the emergence of the hybrid.

Ultimately, I think being pikey is cooler than being posh. Guy Ritchie with his mockney slang was a posh bloke in disguise as a pikey because pikeys definitely have more fun then posh folk. I think you get away with more as a pikey. Ignorance is bliss. Maybe that’s why I am still torn between my pikey roots and my posh pursuits.

The other day I was talking to someone who is much posher than me and it would appear that bona fide posh people (not the fake Becky Sharp’s like me) are actually rebelling against their own poshness. It would appear that pikey is cooler. At Eton (one of the top posh schools) there is an emergence of a culture, being dubbed as ‘StrEtonian’ (read Streetonian) where the uber posh are speaking like they were born of the gutter. So there we have it – even the posh want to be pikey – maybe they would be happy to be pokeys. I wonder if we could make pokey cool so that I can enjoy posh pursuits and still be cool. Is it even possible to be posh and cool? The dilemma continues!!


  1. Tish and tosh to the lot of them! I’d much rather be kosher-class than psuedo-class any day of the week. Be proud of your roots and don’t covet the roots of others!

  2. oh people have always been at that. When I was at private school some of my friends who were very posh started talking ‘mockney’ pretending they lived on a council estate and the ultimate accolade was dating a ‘bit of rough’ ie someone from the local comprehensive. I found it all rather perplexing as I was only posh by proxy having gotten in on a free place and actually living on a pissing council estate!

  3. I can still remember the horror with which the yummy mummies at my kids’ private school greeted the news that the richest family in the school actually made their money from a flower stall on the Fulham Road. Suddenly they all wanted a bit of pikey!

    It’s a funny old game this class thing, without a doubt.

  4. The whole class thing confuses the hell out of me. Possibly one thing that the Americans are much better at the Brits at. Only the dollars matter in the US not how they are acquired, new money, old money ’tis all the same.

    1. We are merging into a melting pot but we still have these old rigid pockets of the past that send us all a tizz. I think it’s fascinating – although I don’t have the answer. I like people I like because they make me laugh and they drink too much and sometimes they like to shake their booty!

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